News > The 4 Sitcom Kids Who Seem Most Likely to Be Arrested Someday
October 16, 2007
Sitcoms are full of good role models: Parents who love their kids, teachers who believe in their students, older brothers who stand up to bullies, etc. But sometimes even the best mentors can fail their protégés. In recognition of this, we’ve compiled a small list of the sitcom kids who seem most likely to be arrested someday. This isn’t about the child actors who played those kids and what happened to them (that would be a hell of a list too), this is specifically about the characters, and why sooner or later their character flaws will land them behind bars.
The Second Morgan Matthews from Boy Meets World
How she did it we may never know, but after a season or two of Boy Meets World, a noticeably different kid sister appeared in the kitchen. One of the family members took notice and mentioned that she looked different. She said, “Yeah, I was up in my room for a long time.” The pre-recorded audience laughed knowingly. But let’s face it, this new Morgan killed the original and took her place. Sort of like The Talented Mr. Ripley. Admittedly, her handiwork was good enough to trick most of the family, but eventually even the most meticulous killers can slip. Look into those eyes, and know pure evil.
Stephanie Tanner from Full House
Being the middle child can be tough even on well-adjusted kids, and Stephanie wasn’t even that. Plagued by insecurities about being lost in the shuffle, Stephanie was just about always the one messing up. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. One minute she’d be depressed about being outshined by her prettier older sister and overlooked in favor of her cuter younger sister, the next minute she’d be crashing the family car into the dining room (a cry for help?). You’d sympathize with her except for the fact that she brought all of her troubles on herself with her stupidity.
Alex P. Keaton from Family Ties
What could go wrong with Alex P. Keaton? He seemed to be an intelligent, well-adjusted young Republican with a bright future in business on the horizon. Flash forward twenty years. His love of the almighty dollar has turned him into a white-collar criminal. He’s serving time in a minimum security prison for insider trading among other various financial offenses. Alternatively, he’s become a key aide to the Bush administration and has perjured himself on the stand, resulting in a short jail sentence that may or may not be alleviated by the President. In any event, his loyalty to the neo-Conservative movement gets him into some hot water.
Steve Urkel from Family Matters
Between Urkel-bot, his alter-ego Stefan Urquel, and the dozens of other inventions Urkel came up with over the years, it was only a matter of time before A. His inventions killed someone. B. He unintentionally created weapons of mass destruction. Remember Judy Winslow, Carl and Harriet’s youngest daughter? No? That’s probably because after the fourth season she completely vanished from the series without explanation (Note: In real life the actress went on to become an adult film star named Crave). Even the dialogue in later seasons seemed to suggest that the Winslows had only ever had two children, as though Judy never existed. Over the years, people have wondered what happened to that “third, boring kid.” The answer is obvious; Urkel did something to her. Considering how weird Family Matters eventually got over the years, there are thousands of possibilities, but here are the most likely two. First, Urkel somehow killed her. Maybe he created a different Urkel personality that preyed upon children, for example. Then, once his normal personality was restored, he realized how much trouble he would be in and erased the memories of the entire family with some potion he happened to have concocted. That’s why “Big Guy” never mentioned his youngest daughter again; he had been mind-wiped. Theory 2 is just as likely. At one point in the series, Urkel actually created a time machine. Perhaps he went back in time and interrupted the conception of little Judy. You know how he’s always walking in when he shouldn’t. Though altering the flow of time is not technically a crime (yet), one way or another Urkel definitely took some lives on that show.
“Did I do that?”
“Guilty or Not Guilty, Mr. Urkel!”
